Things I never thought would happen

Before Lily was born, I always assumed I would breastfeed.  I didn't buy a pump because I didn't think I would really need it since I worked from home.  I had of course heard it wasn't always easy, but I assumed it was natural and we would figure it out one way or another.  We didn't, despite both of us trying so hard, visits with multiple lactation consultants, and trying a million different things.  Lily had her first bottle at just a few hours old thanks to pressure from a nurse.  I tried for a whole month to nurse Lily but due to stress, lack of sleep and most importantly her slow growth, I started exclusively pumping and did so for 12 months.

This time around I was prepared to "fail" at breastfeeding again.  I thought something was wrong with me.  I had the pump parts and bottles all ready this time around, not wanting to have to send Kevin out immediately to buy them.  Well, again, all of my expectations were totally wrong.  Michael has been a champion eater.  He is the 90th percentile.  He is efficient and although we did have a learning curve in the beginning, it has been so easy compared to the first time.  I love not having to wash pump parts and bottles around thc clock.  However, we have the opposite problem this time - Michael refuses to take a bottle.  We have tried different brands, positions, temperatures, times of day and people feeding.  So far no luck and being as I go back to work in 2 weeks I am freaking out a little, although I know in my heart it will work out one way or another.

I can honestly say it doesn't matter that I have fed my kids so differently, the bond I feel and the love I have for both is so overwhelming.  It is amazing that two babies can be so different and I truly look forward to watching them both grow into such unique and equally wonderful people that I am so blessed to call mine.